Hello and welcome,
I hope this week has been good to all of you. My week was filled with reading and writing and in turn, this week’s newsletter will be me sharing a journal entry that feel fitting, edited slightly for a more coherent, legible flow, but still very much in a train of thought style.
TAKING MY TIMELately, life has been a creative and productive time, reminiscent of how I used to live. Full steam ahead, all-systems-go. What’s been so different is that it hasn’t been driven in the direction of education or sports like it was when I was younger. It’s as though I’ve found a way to channel the same energy, but direct it towards my creativity and my health (mental & physical), in a new way. I feel a deeper sense of connection & control over my actions. Like the ever-elusive train of momentum is finally moving in my direction. Like a novice sailor in strong winds, I’m finally moving and feeling the power of the natural forces. Unfortunately, I’m rushing it. I’m panicking-desperately trying to rush to results, and not embracing the long, winding, slow, beautiful road of progress & process.. The next chapter of the journey has to be “taking my time.” Harnessing the wind - controlling the thunder and the fire. Embracing the idea that doing the work each and every day but knowing that nothing worthwhile comes instantlyor easily.That is the only way to do what you love & be content, today and every day. I may think in terms to to-do lists; tasks that can be counted, checked off a list, planned and completed, but one cannot live that way. I’m learning the hard way that if I’m to be content and to maintain my well being and my relationships in life, I need to slow down, take my time. Welcome the painful slowness of doing one thing at a time. A direct parallel can be drawn between life and photography (as it always can with art). You cannot produce an entire body of creative work by making a list and completing it by checking it off as you go. You need to take the time to make each exposure; giving each frame the time and meticulousness that it demands. You cannot plan for it, you cannot check it off the list right away because it may take years before you know whether or not it is “right.” You have to trust the process. Let it live and breathe until you feel that it is complete or the moment has passed. You must be so in touch with what you are doing that you have a feeling for when it is time to shift your attention.One thing - completely - at a time. Only by giving each moment, each task, each exposure, your full and undivided attention for as long as it may take will you let it reach its full potential and be in touch with it enough to know when it has finally given its all. Creating a body of work, a life, even holding a conversation or reading a book, all require continued and sustained dedication of complete moments. There may be times when multitasking feels comfortable, appropriate or even unavoidable. It is probably too easy to say that one must avoid it all costs because it will creep in. Much the same as planning, checklists, schedules will be needed at times. Because that is the case, it is ever more important to be intentional and aware of each action. Know your values, trust your gut & your instinct and decide whether something is worth your time, energy & focus. If it is, go fully and completely in the direction of it. If it is not, find a polite yet earnest way to remove yourself and not look back with remorse or regret. Take your time! Take it. Don’t give it to anything or anyone that is not worth it. Come to terms with that mindset & hold yourself accountable. Doing things that way requires patience, deep thought, focus, reflection, evaluation. None of these can be found and kept within regular office hours. They all live and breathe somewhere on the outskirts of life. On the fringes of time. Be okay with that and learn to slow down when those times inevitably present themselves, abruptly and inconveniently. Don’t rush someone or something that is important to you. You will regret it. Maybe not today, or even tomorrow, but in time. Because when you look back, you’ll realize the best thing you can give to someone you care about, is your time and attention. Taking the time to write down your thoughts is an integral part of this mentality. Thoughts are fluffy, ideas cheap. They come and they go but aren’t processed. Their value is never realized and their potential escapes. The only way to make those things real and to learn to harness the streams of thought is to write. Write often, write a lot. Write for the sake of thinking and feeling. Write wherever, whenever, by whatever means necessary. Phone, laptop, napkin, notebook - it doesn’t matter whether a thought is scribbled as a foot note in aphotobook or on edge of a dirty napkin. The power of the written word is not in how or where it is written, but in what is written (and why). *taking a break to be fully present to share a slice of carrot cake with Alysse* Continuing this as a train of thought, partially left over from a brief but poignant conversation Alysse and I just had. At any given point in your life, you may find yourself believing in something - for a second, a minute, a month, a year - and you will never know when that can change. You might not even notice when it does change. But if you believe it, and you’re writing, then it becomes truth. Not the kind of truth that everyone will always agree with and see as universal. The kind of truth that exists because you believed it, if even for a split second. The choice to write it or say it gave it the power, and whether or not it holds up, it is a kind of truth. That is a beautiful and powerful sentiment that I wish I could keep with me everywhere I go. And maybe now that it’s written, I can :) When I was first texting with Alysse and in the very beginning of us spending time together, she used to say a lot of things that one (me) might (definitely did) classify as naive, immature, even stupid. Thoughts about the world, philosophies, little bits of ideas often times shared without a warning. There are two realizations I’ve had about those things just this evening, and I will see if I can properly describe them. 1. They all turned out to be true in some form, to me. Either I’ve since had the same thought, said the same thing, or just felt she was right in that opinion or belief. These may have been little ideas like romanticizing and old dirty apartment in Paris, or learning French. Both of these now inspire me endlessly. 2. They would not have held any value or been assigned a quality of truth at this later date if she had kept them as mere thoughts and chosen not to share them in the form of speaking them out loud or writing them down. Understanding the energy of the world is a powerful mechanism. Working on yourself is hard. Sometimes it’s unrewarding, unrelenting and doesn’t seem to undersand or recognize how hard you’re working or how badly you want the thing you’re working for. But in time, you’ll manage to manifest, change, and persevere enough to actually shift the energy you’re putting out into the world enough to match the places you want to go and the things you want to achieve.You may start to desire something years before you’re mentally ready for it. The lag between wanting something and having put in the time and effort to receive it, is a slow and painful time. It’s now been four or five years since I first started to grasp the importance and the gravity of the photos that I felt drawn to or that I felt had power. All this time, I’ve been longing to be brave enough, creative enough, and head strong enough to start producing work of that nature. To push myself over the edge and dive into the world of meaningful work. I’ve come a long way and made a lot of photos that I’ll probably appreciate in due time, but I’m only just starting to feel myself tap into the energy I was ready to receive when I first had a taste of that kind of creativity. Time is the greatest equalizer of them all, and if time can hold that kind of power, the only thing we can do to get what we want in life is to persevere.Through good times and bad, through ups and downs, highs, lows,the one thing we can affect is our commitment and effort. It’s a lot like playing defense in basketball - it often doesn’t matter what technique we use, how much you’ve practiced or even prepared. The one thing that can make up for just about any other shortcoming is being there and committing 100% to the task, and having an undying and unwavering belief that you can and will get exactly what you want if you try hard enough for long enough. I recently read that the time between when you develop good taste in a field and when you are actually able to produce work that lives up to that taste, is the hardest, most unforgiving time to be a creative. It’s when most people quit, give up or settle for someting less than their taste. I’m not quite sure where I find myself on that journey, but I’m definitely not yet at the stage where I’m producing work that matches my taste. I’ve also taken shortcuts, detours, and byways along the way. I’ve tried to rush the process and lost myself and my way over and over. What I do know is that I’m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I’m starting to be okay with the idea of taking my time to get wherever I want to go. Appreciating the sights and sounds along the way. I think that that’s a beautiful and important step that I’m ready to embrace.Copenhagen, 15/03/22
In honor of the theme of this week, I will not be sharing any of my photos as I just don’t have anything that is quite there yet. Instead, I will share some paintings that I have found great inspiration in lately.
The Interior Paintings of Carl Vilhelm Holsøe
The works of Danish painter, Carl Vilhelm Holsøe (1863 - 1935), almost all feature subtle interior scenes with light coming from a single source. A window, candle or light fixture. The texture in his works reveal a less than perfect stroke and the color choices vary from subtle to almost intrusive. The paintings hold a dear quality to me. I feel as though I can place myself in each of these interiors, as though they were memories from my childhood in Denmark. Lean back and take a trip through these lovely warm paintings and have a wonderful week ahead.
Sincerely,
Anders